TRALASS - I want to know what to expect if I start dating my Mormon friend. What are the "rules & regulations? What would marriage to a Mormon be like? Is there a Mormon chat room on aol that's easy to use?

JOEL -Your Question does not contain a lot of specifics about your own personal situation. I don't even know if you are male or female or how old you are. But I can answer your question in general terms that can apply to most anyone.
What you might expect depends a lot on how faithful and active your friend is in the Church. What you refer to as "rules and regulations" are more commonly called "Standards" in the LDS Church. It sounds less intimidating but means pretty much the same thing. Hopefully what you can expect will be someone who believes in and lives the commandments of God and the principles and doctrines as taught by Jesus Christ. Everyone is at various stages of faithfulness and maturing in the Gospel, and so their commitment to it will be different from one member to the next. If you are a teenager and would like to know how your Mormon friend is expected to conduct his/her life you should get a copy of the pamphlet called, "For the Strength of Youth", written by the Church. Ask any LDS Bishop for a copy. Here are a few things that apply to all ages that your friend has been taught in regards to their behavior and dating:

Date only those who have high standards, who respect your standards.
Plan positive and constructive activities when you are dating.
Do things that help you get to know each other.
Be careful to go places where there is a good environment, where you won’t be faced with temptation.
Dress modestly.
Treat everyone with kindness and dignity.
Help others feel wanted and welcome.
Be honest with yourself and others.
Use language to build and uplift those around you. Avoid profane, vulgar or crude language.
Avoid pornography in movies, books TV, etc.
Keep physically fit and avoid the use of alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.
Listen to music that educates, edifies and inspires you.
Sexual intimacy should be reserved for within the bonds of marriage.
Worship the Lord on the Sabbath. Avoid working, recreational activities, and making purchases on the Sabbath.

Strongly active LDS members believe that marriage is the most important event of their lifetime. The one they choose to marry will be their companion for not just “until death do you part” but for eternity. This can only happen through marriage in an LDS temple. This of course requires that the one they marry will also be a member of the LDS Church in good standing. Member/non-member marriages can put certain strains on a relationship that can be hard to reconcile; especially on how the children will be raised. However, every situation will be different depending on how active each one is in his or her own religion and how accepting and tolerant they are of the other’s beliefs. Unconditional and selfless love is strongly required in such situations. Life married to a Mormon would hopefully include the following:

Praying together daily
Reading the scriptures together
Loyalty, love and respect for each other
Performing some kind of service in the church on a weekly basis
Attending church meetings on Sunday
Paying an honest tithe and other offerings
Having a spirit of love and acceptance in the home
Treating each other as equal partners
No physical, emotional or mental abuse of any kind
Striving for a good education and having a respectable job that will provide well for the family
Having lots of kids and providing for their physical, emotional and spiritual needs.

“The Proclamation on the Family” written by the leaders of the LDS church is a good summary of what you could expect life to be like or should be like being married to a Mormon. I have it on my web site at (

Here are a few LDS chat lines that I know of(but not on AOL):

LDS Chat - A list of 12 different chat lines

FreeSaints Chat rooms

Young LDS Chat Room

Return to top

Return to Questions